


it hurts in different ways.

by JUSTAKnightInDesguise



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drowning, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Language, M/M, Night Terrors, Survivor Guilt, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-30 22:51:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5182610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JUSTAKnightInDesguise/pseuds/JUSTAKnightInDesguise





	it hurts in different ways.

You're sitting in your living room, screwing in another screw into the wrist; the hand is coming along nicely. A faint noise brings you to the window, blue waters meeting blue skies that hold few clouds. You hear another noise and you look down, the metal structure meets dark red waters. Down below you see forms rising out of the water; crawling their way up your apartment building, the clouds now cover the entire sky with grey. You run to your room, looking for a weapon; but when you open the door D Strider stands in the way, your bro. He grabs at you, you can hardly move; why can't you move?? Another set of hands pull at you from behind, more and more people flood into your room from the windows; their skin pale and flakey, falling off on some parts, revealing red underneath but no blood flowing from the wounds. "This is what you do with the life I fought to protect?! Fucking disgrace to the strider name." Bro yells in your face, his hands hurt on your arm and shoulder but his words hurt more. "Why did I die for you? Why would anyone die for you?" The hands tear at your clothes, your hair, your shades are probably broken on the floor as they drag you closer and closer to the window. "No! Please! Stop!" You scream at them, plead for them to spare you of their hatred. "No wonder you're all alone. Even the universe knew what a complete fucking burden to even know you are. Good riddance" they throw you though the window, you crash though the water surface and scramble to swim up. More hands grab onto you and pull down, submerging you under the suffocating water. You can feel the water infiltrate your lungs with the raging of the waves around you. Everything goes dark, the hands holding you turn into tentacles that wrap around you and strangle your movements. The air in your lungs as you take gulping breaths hurt. "Dirk! Love please it was a dream." Your eyes single out emerald colored ones and you freeze your frantic movements to stare at Jake who holds your hands in his. "Jake?" He sighs and let's go with one of your hands to stroke your face; wiping away a tear track you didn't know was there. His hand moves to the back of your head and he guides your head to his chest, you pull the rest of your body there yourself and start crying into his chest. He pets your head, shooshing you. 

After awhile, you settle down. Burying yourself into his chest now that yours doesn't feel like exploding. "You wanna talk about it mate?" You hum into his sleep shirt; it's not a yes and it's not a no, you feel like neither and you feel like both. Wanting to feel better by telling him, and not wanting to burden him. "It's okay either way you know, I mean. I want to know, but I won't pressure you." You love him for things like that. "Okay... Yeah... So, I was in my apartment before the game and these, guys started.. climbing up the place, they were all dead and my.. my bro was there and he... said some things and shit... And um.... they threw me out of the window and tried to drown me... And then I woke up." "What did your bro say?" Jake asks. "He... said that... he shouldn't have wasted his life protecting mine if.. if I" you started to cry again. "Shhhh it's okay." "If I would just fuck everything up. Jake. I'm sorry." "For what Dirk? You're so good. So amazing, I've never met anyone quite as amazing as you." You don't know how to feel about those words, they hurt you in a way unlike what your brother's word felt like; they feel like being pulled inside out instead of being stabbed and burnt. They bring the same amount of tears to your eyes but when they fall they feel like liquid sadness and not like emptiness. Jake holds you tight up against his chest, wrapping his arms around you like you'll fall apart without him. You would, if he left again. The first time almost killed you, the second time would for sure. You drift off like that, his arms holding you tight; feeling safe. You love him. You love him more than you hate yourself. You love him enough to stop hating yourself so that you'll be happy so that he'll be happy. He makes you happy, you being happy makes him happy, him being happy makes you love him more. It's a paradox of happy. And that's okay. You don't feel like you're drowning in water, you feel like you're suffocating in love and happiness.


End file.
